Debt Free! (How I became debt-free and you can, too)

Wreath lovingly made by my Sis-In-Law, Janet Lawrence

I updated my Facebook status yesterday and it has caused quite a commotion...I have never received so many "likes" and comments before...not to anything.  Not to surviving Cancer, not to one of these carefully crafted blog posts, not to a clever video re posted...NOTHING has garnered the attention of yesterday's status for me.  As I type this, it has 101 likes!  

What is it?

"Just wired my final mortgage payment!  Debt free in every way!  Praise God, my Provider and Sustainer.  Now...to find a job..."

Thank you for celebrating with me.  I am touched by the support.  I am feeling celebratory and grateful. It's almost like I won the lottery.  But it's really not like that at all.  I didn't "win" anything.  I didn't luck into my home...this was a slow and steady process...this was twenty years in the making...this was the culmination of hard work, restraint, patience, and trust.  This day was the harvest of a twenty-year journey.  

Some are expressing envy.  Some who completed this journey before me are giving good advice (don't forget about saving for annual property taxes and insurance which were formerly taken out of escrow). It's true that even though I own my house, clear of debt, it can still be taken from me.  If I fail to pay the annual property taxes, the government can take it and kick me out!  For this reason alone, I am grateful that I chose to stay in my "starter" home. The property taxes are based on the value of the home.  The lower the home value, the lower the taxes.

When I bought this house at twenty-nine years old, my realtor said I should get a balloon loan because I would not still be in it in five years time.  (This is a loan with lower payments but then you have to pay the whole thing off in a specific time, like five years.  At the pay-off, you fund it by getting another loan).

Being a fiscal conservative, I chose to get a conventional 30-year loan.  I am so glad that I did.  When interest rates fell, I refinanced and chose a 15-year loan.  

Would you like to know my secrets?   Would you like to be debt-free, too?

This is my best advice:

1.  Give money away: You cannot outgive God.  I know that probably wasn't what you were expecting.  I gave my life to Christ at nine years old.  When I was in the membership class at my Baptist Church, it was designed for adults.  I didn't understand much about the class but the one thing I heard and understood was the principle of tithing.  This is the only only place I know of in Scripture where God says "test me in this."  (Malachi 3:10-11).  I took it to heart.  In fact, it irritated my mother, who would have preferred that I not tithe the money I earned waitressing that was earmarked for college tuition. But I fought her on this.  My form of rebellion was tithing!  I have tested God and he has ALWAYS met my financial needs...through unemployment (4 times now), through Cancer treatments (2 times now) and I never missed a mortgage payment in twenty years.

2.  Buy a house worth less that "they" say you can afford.  When I bought my house, I was told that I could afford a home worth 40 to 50% more than the one I chose.  I knew that if I bought that much house, I would not have money for other things I needed and some other things I enjoyed.  I chose a small "starter" home.  It doesn't have some things that I would like...it's not a "dream-home" but it is my home and I love it. 

3.  Fight the urge to Trade Up.  My income nearly doubled over the course of the twenty years it took to pay-off my home.  I was tempted for a brief season to consider trading up to a larger home or a home in a location more central to town.  I fought the urge and I am so glad that I did.  Instead, I chose to stay put and make my home as beautiful as I could...I made it "mine" and I settled in.  This enabled me to do some travelling and never miss a payment, even when I was out of a job or undergoing chemotherapy.

4.  Pay extra every month.  After I refinanced at a lower interest rate, I chose to continue to pay the higher monthly payment and even added some to it.  I paid $200 extra principal for a couple of years.  I stopped when I lost my job but when I regained employment, I paid $100 extra or sometimes just $50 extra.  This shaved years off of my loan.  What really helped me was designing a table in Microsoft Excel whereby I was able to calculate how much time I could shave off my loan depending on how much extra I paid.  It was fun to dream and see how fast I could finish.  I wish I had done this sooner and I wish I had been even more disciplined.  


I need to confess...I have been blessed and I have not always been a great steward of money.  I love pretty things, nice jewelry and clothes, and I have wasted money over the years.  I have medicated pain in my life through spending money.  God has worked on my heart and I have had to learn some things the hard way.   

I wish I had learned sooner.  Don't we all?  But I am a work in progress and so are you!  It is never too late to take steps, even baby steps, towards financial freedom.

(I would be remiss if I didn't add one more thing...the best way to be debt-free is to accept God's gift of His son, Jesus, the One who died for all of our debts...great and small).  John 3:16...Timeless Truth! My biggest debts can't be reduced to dollars and cents...my biggest debts were wiped free at Calvary.

Father, I thank You today for providing a beautiful home for me...far beyond what I ever imagined I would have as a single woman.  Thank you for this gift  of a place of peace, of hope, of ministry, and rest to call my own for this season of my life.  Thank You for a tangible reminder of your provision in my life.






I had help decorating from Elle Westover...so Gifted, and such an inspriration in every way!  Thank you, Elle!  See her website HERE.  Or check out her facebook page HERE.

Do You Feel Empty?

There was a time in my life when I felt so empty.  And I felt guilty about feeling empty.  I am a Christian.  I am not supposed to feel that way, am I?  If I believe the God of the Universe loves me and I believe all the wonderful promises found in scripture, how could I feel so empty?

I am convinced it is because I had a warped view of life.  I believed some well meaning lies and took them to the extreme...that others should always come first.  I took it to the extreme...that others mattered more...that I must always defer to them...to their comfort...to not offend...to please...to bless...to have no regard for myself.

From time to time, the extreme became self-hatred.  Shame and despising who I am.  Well, there's a recipe for a happy life...why would I feel empty?  (this is sarcasm, in case you don't know)

Now I know the truth...I will have nothing to give to you unless I am full.  When I am full, I overflow.  I think of a pitcher of water at the sink, water pouring in and then flowing over the top of the brim.  

In the group I attend weekly at the Harris Y, we talk about lifestyle change and self-care.  More than once, we have reminded each other of this:  when you are on an airplane and the instructions are being given for the oxygen mask, the flight attendant always says, "Make sure you administer to the oxygen to yourself before you attend to small children or others needing assistance."  Why is that?  If I am empty of oxygen, I'll pass out and be good for nothing.  How can I help those needing assistance if I pass out from lack of oxygen?

Here's my favorite quote from Melodie Beattie's classic book, Codependent No More, "I saw people who felt responsible for the entire world, but they refused to take responsibility for leading and living their own lives."  

I am not responsible for the world.  I am responsible for me.  To some of you, this may be elementary.  For me, it has been life changing.  As I trust God to take care of the world and figure out how to take care of myself, I have become much better at overflowing.  The end result is that I am caring more for others around me.  I am relaxed and more fun to be around.  I am at peace.  I am full.

What does this look like practically?  For me, it means making time in my day to pray and acknowledge my need for God and His presence in my life.  It means reading the Bible or a devotional each day to remind myself of truth.  It means I learn to recognize my emotions are indicators of needs in my life and I find healthy ways to meet those needs.  If I am lonely, I plan time with a friend.  If I am tired, I get more sleep.  If I am hungry, I feed myself food that will offer nutrition to my body (most of the time!).  

It also means I begin to do things I don't necessarily "feel" like doing because I know that I will benefit in the end.  As a single woman, I need a sense of community.  I need a sense of family.  I must get outside of my home to develop that community.  My favorite place to do this is church.  In every church I have attended, I have made it a point to join a life group or Bible study.  It is important to continue to cultivate relationships...to receive from others and to "overflow" in to their lives.

We were never meant to be alone.  And no one person can satisfy all of our needs.  I am convinced that I need a variety of people in my life to be whole and healthy.  Good friends challenge me to become more than I am today. Hopefully, I challenge them right back.

It has been a long while since I felt empty.  It has been a long while (well over a year, maybe two) since I was physically sick.  I am convinced that this is because I make sleep a priority.  It is not that I haven't had stress in my life.  When I do go through periods of stress, I focus more on my body and spirit.  I go to work, I sleep more, I eat healthy, and I pray.  I only do more if I feel up to it.  As the stress passes, I can bring back more activity in to my life.  This has worked well for me.

Today, I am grateful for a full heart and peace.  I am full of hope, full of joy, and full of anticipation at what lies ahead.  More changes are in store, of this I am sure.  I feel that I have a toolbox full of wisdom and practical ideas from which to draw upon...no need for fear.  No need for confusion.  I go to the Source, I get full, I learn to care for myself...and hopefully...I will overflow to others.  It is my desire to be an encouragement to others.  And ultimately, to please my Lord and Savior.  All I really have to do, is continue to become who He created me to be: A woman who is full and overflowing...

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30