Unpacking

My house looks like a bomb went off.  Those of you who know me well are probably thinking, “So what else is new?”  I really have been doing better with my messiness!  

I returned from the Philippines Monday evening after forty straight grueling hours of travel (24 in airplanes).  With no time to completely unpack my bags, my mind, or my heart, I was off to the She Speaks conference in Concord, NC. 

She Speaks is an annual conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministry.  It is a powerhouse of a conference to train women who feel called to speaking, writing, and/or blogging because they love Jesus.

Wow!  All I can say is, “Wow!”  I know the phrase “drinking from a fire hose” can be overdone, but that is the only way I can describe the past three days. 

I don’t really feel like a Proverbs 31 type of gal.  I have no husband or children.  My life experience is very different from the demographic.  But I felt right at home anyway.   One would think that being in a room with 800 dynamic and beautiful women would be intimidating.  It was, at first.  But in almost every break out session, we were reminded that “There is only one me.  I am the expert at being me.  God wants to use me.” 

This seminar is a testimony to the power of prayer.  It was bathed in prayer.  I felt it.  I have so much more to unpack now.  Bags and memories from a life-changing trip to the Philippines.  An ocean of information from She Speaks.  Where do I begin?  Perhaps not today.  Today is my last day of being forty-something.  I need to just be.  

One of the other great aspects of the conference was the new friendships.  I met the most wonderful women at meals, in my seminars, in the ladies room (you know how us girls can make a party out of going to the bathroom!  And there is always a line…)

I met Carolina from Texas.  She loves teenagers.  Her last husband passed away from pancreatic cancer.  She has remarried (to the love of her life.)  And she is my age!  We had a wonderful time getting to know each other.

I met Natasha from Europe, now living in Greenville, SC.  She is a first generation Christian.  Lovely accent.  She is married with two boys and longs to go back to her home country and tell people about Jesus.  We had wonderful conversation over lunch.

I met Cara from Louisiana.  She is married with 3 children.  Cara lost over 100 pounds after reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book, Made to Crave.  She was so thrilled to meet her in person to say “thank you.”  Cara’s trip to She Speaks was paid for by fund raising back home.  Her friends are so proud of her and wanted to make this event possible for her.

There are many more.  So many unique women with unforgettable stories.  I have gathered amazing new friends in the past three weeks.  Some are oceans away, in Manila or Concepcion or Pozorrubio or Pagrai or Pinapal or Villa Corazon.  I can’t wait to tell you about them.  But for today, I want to revel in being forty-nine.  It has been a fabulous year.  What a ride!

The Summer I Saw the Crape Myrtle

In warmer climates like those of North and South Carolina, there is a beautiful flowering tree commonly known as the Crape Myrtle.  The flowers can be white or pink or purple.  In Charlotte, they line streets and can be found in commercial and private landscaping.  In my neighborhood, I can see them from my bay window when I look out at my neighbor’s yard.

I was reminded of my love of Crape Myrtles this morning as I took my daily walk.  The flowers are beginning to shed and they sprinkle the ground like colorful snowflakes.  

Crape Myrtles make me smile.  Not just because they are so beautiful.  There is a deeper meaning for me.  You see, I had lived in Charlotte for nine years before I ever remember seeing one.  In my personal timeline, I affectionately call it “the summer I saw the Crape Myrtle.”

It was the summer I turned thirty years old.  I had just purchased my very first home in March of that year.  When the Crape Myrtles began their glorious display that summer, the first one I saw was from the view from my dining room window.  It took moving in and settling right next to one for me become curious about them.  What is this lovely tree and where had it been all of my life?

I asked my friends about it and they laughed at me.  Had I not seen them everywhere in Charlotte summers?  I began to see them as if for the first time.  They lined the street on the way to my church.  They are all over my neighborhood, where I had rented for three years before I moved into my own home.  They really seemed to be popping up all over the place.  Why had I never noticed? 

I believe it is because landscaping was irrelevant to my life until I had my own yard to nurture.  Once I took ownership of a piece of land, as small as mine is, I began to notice yards and landscaping everywhere I went.  My eyes became attuned to the colors and the beauty around me as I contemplated my own yard.  I opened my heart and mind to the beauty around me and I was astounded at what I began to see.

Do you have eyes but fail to see and ears but fail to hear…? (Mark 8:18)

That summer my eyes were opened; not only to the beauty of the Crape Myrtle, but to the idea that I am capable of not seeing what is right in front of me.  If I can overlook the Crape Myrtle, what else have I not seen?

When I think of the Crape Myrtle, I am reminded to pray for eyes that see and ears that hear.  What is my role in this life I have been given?  How can I become more attuned to God’s presence and His voice?

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." (John 10:27)

Learning to discern the voice of God is a lifelong pursuit.  I have to be open to His voice.  Not just open, but hungry for it. 

I don’t want to miss Him.  I am convinced that days go by where I close my mind and heart to what God desires to do in my life.  I don’t want to be like the people Jesus described in Matthew 13:

For this people’s heart has become calloused;

    they hardly hear with their ears,

    and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

    hear with their ears,

    understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.’  (Matthew 13:15)

Oh Father, let me have eyes to see and ears to hear You.  Help me to create space for You in my days.  I don’t want to have a calloused heart.  I want a heart that is open and soft before You.  I want to be healed.