I am a pack rat and a collector. I grew up in a home where we wasted nothing. Nothing was discarded if it was still useful. We never had any reason to have a yard sale because we didn't get rid of anything unless it was broken or far beyond its usefulness. That kind of goes with the territory for those of us who were raised by depression era parents. Both of my parents lived through the Great Depression and had sad stories to tell...Dad would say that he and his six brothers couldn't go out on a date the same night because they shared one good pair of pants. Mom would tell me tales of not being able to participate in the Christmas program at church because a new pair of pajamas was required and they did not have the money for such a luxury. I was doomed to be a hoarder.
I didn't even realize there was a condition out there called hoarding until Oprah brought it to light on one of her programs. Now we have the reality shows about it, which, I am convinced most people watch in order to feel better about themselves. Now, I am not near as bad as what I have seen on TV...that is because I am not a recluse and I don't add animals to the mix. I occasionally have out-of-town company for which I clean the house from top to bottom. And every so often I have dinner guests. But the tendency is there, for sure, and I don't enjoy watching the reality shows about it...I think, "there but for the grace of God, go I," and I feel sadness for those people.
It is actually a much deeper issue than being lazy or being greedy...it is an issue of trust. How much is enough? Will I have enough?
Which brings us to moldy manna. Do you know the story in scripture about the Israelites wandering in the desert for forty years before they entered the promised land? God provided every need. He provided food in the form of manna in the morning and quail in the evening. (See Exodus 16)
The thing was, they were told to gather only enough manna each morning for what they would eat that day. Only on the day before the Sabbath were they to gather extra. "However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell." verse 20
I am convinced that those of us with hoarder tendencies would have been found guilty of holding moldy manna. We think more is always better.
A few years ago, I was lamenting with some friends about my recent discovery of the term "hoarder" from watching the Oprah show. These friends are gifted in organizational skills. They took pity on me and offered to help me to get organized. They actually spent two full days at my home...one with me here, while we cleaned and organized. And one full day during the work week where they organized my kitchen and hauled a car load of extra stuff away. When I came home to my beautifully organized kitchen, I was shown the boxes that were being hauled away. I was given veto rights. At first, I had a really hard time letting go of all that they said I did not need. They explained to me that someone else could really use the extra items. Letting go would mean a blessing for someone else and a blessing for me.
I think that was what convinced me to give up the second salad spinner. I had two. One had been given to me as a gift and one I had bought myself. I liked having two. It allowed me to be lazy. If one was dirty, instead of washing it, I could use the second one. Then I'd have two that needed washing.
My friends convinced me that this was not necessary. They also convinced me that I didn't need a pair of pajamas for every day of the week or as many of a lot of things that I had.
It felt really good to lighten my load, get more organized, and bless others with the overflow of my extra possessions. I learned many valuable lessons that season.
The final lesson was unexpected. I was so grateful to these two friends who actually spent a vacation day from their own work to organize my life. I felt humbled and unworthy. So unworthy, that I felt I needed to repay them somehow. I thought I was doing a good deed. I bought them expensive gift certificates to a local spa. I invited them to dinner and the certificates were sitting on their plates in gold boxes. I was excited for them to receive my gifts. But the presentation fell flat. In fact, I think they were a lot less excited about my gifts than I was about theirs to me.
I didn't understand at the time what I know now. I didn't know how to receive. I didn't understand grace and I just couldn't accept their kindness to me without feeling I had to repay it. I spoiled their joy by trying to "up" their gift of time and organization.
I didn't mean to spoil anything. I didn't know what I was doing at the time. Now I know. Now I know that learning to receive with grace is just as important as learning to give with grace. Now I know that a better solution would be to "pay it forward." Give to someone else who isn't going to give me anything in return.
No matter how much I read and how much I try to learn from others, the truth remains...some things have to be learned by experience. May I be an engaged student of life whereby I don't need to keep learning the same lessons over and over again. May I find joy in having one salad spinner at a time...
22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Luke 12:22-31
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