Reflection, Risk and Investment

Years ago, I heard a sermon from Tony Campolo in which he quoted a survey of elderly people who were confined to a nursing home.  When asked what three things they would do differently if they had their lives to live over, their reply was:

1. I would have spent more time reflecting
2. I would have taken more risks
3. I would have invested in something that would outlast my life

I have never forgotten these words and I often ponder them, especially when we enter this time of year when resolutions are being made (and broken.) Life isn't a sprint, it's more of a marathon; resolutions aren't so effective for me.  I do whole heartedly believe in lifestyle change and I believe it takes time and stumbling...falling and get back up again.  I also believe in sanctification.  That, too, is a lifelong process of work by the Holy Spirit in my life as I yield more and more to Him.

Reflecting on 2013 makes my heart feel full.  It was a very good year for me...one of the best in recent memory.  Some highlights:

• A Lost Job:  On January 3, 2013, I lost a job that I loved after giving it over to God, so I knew that moving on was His purpose.  There was great peace and joy in knowing this despite the uncertainty of the future.

• Travelling Solo:  During my two months of unemployment I started this blog after some encouragement from a friend.  I had declared on January 1st, 2013, that this would be my "Year of Words":  Taking God at His Word, speaking words of life and blessing instead of curses, and writing more. What a blessing this "year of words" has been for me!  By the way, the picture below is one I took at the entry to Villa Il Leccio in Tuscany.  I chose to begin the first part of my Blog sharing about my SOLO trip to Italy, as it was such an important part of my journey as a single Christian woman...embracing and celebrating what IS instead of what has not yet come to pass.

• A New Job:  I started a new job on March 4th which has been a huge blessing and a challenge.  One of my desires was to work closer to home, and this is just 5 miles away.  I had actually passed the building regularly and had prayed in my car on at least one occasion that I might get a job there. When I applied for the position on Linked In, I had no idea that the job I had applied for was at this building. What a surprise!  God has a clever sense of humor.

• Inner Healing:  My source for inner healing is the One True Giver of Life...Jesus.  I have had the privilege in the past year to receive prayer for inner healing from a ministry called Aletheia.  Through this extended prayer time and afterward, I sensed God peeling off layers of wounds and baggage in my life (like peeling an onion.)  Each time I think I am completely free, I see there is more to come. There were actually three sessions with ladies from Aletheia (two in 2012 and one in 2013).  Prior to that, I had several sessions with another dear mentor and prayer warrior, Brenda Young.  Brenda is the mom of my friend, Julie, and she has adopted me as a bonus daughter.  I have shared some wonderful weekends with Brenda and her husband, Glenn, in Charleston (most recently in August 2013) with my BFF, Laura.  It is wonderful to have "family" that is not blood-relations, but heart-relations.  

• Emotional Freedom:  I have continued to doggedly pursue emotional health and freedom.  A huge help and blessing is the HOPE group at the Harris Y in Charlotte.  My tendency runs towards "all or nothing" and "codependency" and neither serves me well.  This past year was a growth spurt year for me in taking responsibility for my life and letting go of my deluded sense of responsibility for others' feelings and beliefs.  I cannot change anyone but me...and I am the one who needs the change.  That has been freeing for me.  We all have our challenges in life.  What may seem to be a "given" for you is a challenge for me, and vice versa.  I have chosen to invest time and effort to change unhealthy patterns in my life and it is paying off!  Not that I have it all figured out...   

Taking More Risks:

• Travelling SOLO:  This blog is a risk for me.  I have chosen to be transparent here and share my journey with its joys, sorrows and even, embarrassments.  Writing, connecting, communicating...these are things that give my life meaning.  I am a professional accountant by day but I have never fit the mold of the "reserved professional."  I am expressive and authentic and sometimes, way too direct for the corporate world.  I am learning to temper that in order to improve my job performance but in this space, I am free to be myself and it is here that I feel most at home. Thank you for taking the time to read and by doing so, share in my journey.

• Dating:  I have taken risks in 2013 by opening myself up to the dating world again.  It is my desire to have a husband of God's choosing.  There was a long season where I became cynical about it and kind of closed the door to my heart because I was tired of the waiting.  The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."  My heart was sick and tired of getting hopes up only to be dashed and disappointed.  I began to believe lies about men and about myself. So now, I am starting fresh.  I am choosing to believe that love is possible and it's never too late...I joined a dating site.  Not that all my hopes are there...I am open to any method God chooses to use to help my man to find me.  I actually had a five week relationship/friendship which was hopeful but ended.  It was the first in a long, long while.  It was actually, overall, a very positive experience and I am thankful that this man was in my life, even for a season.  I learned so much, especially about myself, and I hope that it was fruitful for him as well.

Investing in something that will outlast my life:

• Investing in Youth: In February, I began mentoring 3 beautiful teen girls.  This, too, was an answer to prayer as I had longed to begin "giving back" after all the years I have been a recipient of the care of older, wiser women.  See some of my Bonus Moms here...  As often happens with God, I didn't have to do anything but pray, wait, and watch.  These girls came to me...I heard that they were reaching out to peers at school (desiring to pray for them) and I recognized their hearts for God.  I decided to join Him where He was already working (a principle from the book, Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby).   They come to my home once of week for encouragement, sharing, Bible study, and prayer.  I am loving this time with them. 

• Travelling SOLO has become more than a travel journal.  My hope and prayer is that my words will reach out to many who share this single journey and/or many who are on different journeys but who can appreciate mine and be enriched in some way (and so...going beyond my life).  A link to this blog has been posted on a popular facebook page called Abstinence Until Marriage.  Though this page, between Thanksgiving and December 31st, my words have been read by 2,580 unique individuals in 97 countries.  I am learning geography as I feel compelled to learn where everyone is!  The world is shrinking with technology and I am in awe of it all.  

So, to my new friends and old, what do you see when you look back on 2013?  Do not be discouraged by whatever you see.  Some years are more obviously fruitful than others, but nothing is wasted with God.  I was privileged to hear a sermon by Devin Tharp last Sunday at Good Shepherd.  This phrase has come to mind again and again this week:  "Our Wandering is God's Preparing."  In times where it feels like I am making no progress whatsoever, God is preparing me.  It's like I'm in the oven and I'm not ready yet...for whatever is next.  

This past year has been full of signs of God's intervention in my life.  I hope that you will be encouraged by it. He will do the same for you, in a different way of course, because all of our journey's are unique. Feel free to share in the comments section a Reflection, a Risk, or an Investment from 2013 in your life. Or perhaps...an expectation or plan for 2014.  

Happy New Year!